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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category


Faceless People

August 6th, 2008

Faceless couples have been enjoying A-List celebrity events such as Elton John’s White Tie Ball. They have been seen at Wimbledon on Murray Mount and a few other select places. They try to stay away from restaurants; eating may cause a few issues for the mouthless. Many of these people have been catching the attention of the media, having several articles questioning who they were posted.

What’s up with the lack of identity? An advertisement scheme for the new Lotus Eagle that is finally being revealed at the British International Motor Show. Lotus claims to bring “True Character to a Faceless World.” Lotus seems to always find a way to catch attention without needing a pretty face.




Celebrity Car Wash

August 4th, 2008

Everyone knows that there’s no way that any celebrity washes their own car… though many are concerned for the environment, apparently just not the water crisis. They would also hardly think of belittling themselves to go to an ordinary car wash with ordinary people. So where do our favorite A-listers go?

Englewood Auto Spa is a popular place for celebrities such as John Travolta, Chris Rock, and Mary J. Blige. Located in Englewood, New Jersey, this “Auto Spa” is not anything but fantastic. Ranging from a 30 minute car wash to a 6-hour detail, few people leave unimpressed. With your demographic as high class as theirs, quality must be the most important factor.

Using a polish compound that is close to $50 a gallon and top of the line Zymol wax that also costs close to $50 a jar, it is not uncommon to see customers coming in to have their car washed to keep the rain off of their vehicles.




The English Like it Fancy

August 2nd, 2008

Like many celebrities, Prince Charles is following the “green” trend. He managed to turn his beautiful Aston Martin into a hybrid. However, unlike his other fuel-efficient vehicles, his Aston Martin is fueled with English Wine. His bio-ethanol supplier (sure wish I could have my fuel delivered to my front door) actually creates the fuel using English Wine as the base.

Obviously showing favorites to his Aston Martin, Prince Charles’s other vehicles, varying from a Range Rover to an Audi, are fueled with bio-diesel originating with cooking oil. I understand his dilemma. It is much more stylish to pull up in a car smelling of rich wine than to pull up in a car smelling of french fries.




Hollywood Attempting To Go Green

July 31st, 2008

Five celebrities are awaiting the arrival of their brand new hydrogen fueled Honda FCX Clarity. Jamie Lee Curtis and husband Christopher Guest, Jim Salomon, Laura Harris, Jon Spallino, and Ron Yerxa will soon be emitting only water out of their new rides instead of fogging up the air with pollution. When these celebrities are not traveling to their many destinations by airplane, they are concerned about their carbon footprint.

Honda announced at the world’s first dedicated fuel cell vehicle manufacturing facility in Japan that they plan to have the world’s first fuel cell vehicle dealership in the United States within the next ten years. In order to further interest of having a more environmentally-friendly vehicle, Honda will be taking extra steps to provide excellent customer service and multiple locations. It is undetermined if Honda will decrease the annoyance caused by car salesmen.




Struggling To Stay Sexy

July 28th, 2008

George Clooney has recently been feeling that he hasn’t been able to keep up with his “responsibility to being sexy.” Ashamed of his eco-friendly vehicle, George Clooney is having a difficult time keeping up with his friends. The Tango is an electric one-seater vehicle. However, the car accelerates from 0 to 60 mph within 4 seconds for a quick get away when spotted by this higher equipped paparazzi.

I’m sure that its a little more embarassing to know ex-girlfriend Sarah Larson has moved on to a man who has room for her in his life. Quite literally.

For now, Clooney will remain driving the Tango until he recieves his Tesla Roadster. Then Clooney will finally have room for more than just himself and will have fewer bruises on his ego.




Paris Hilton’s Flashy Rims

Paris Hilton is looking to turn heads, walking down the street or rolling down it. Hilton just added new Asanti wheels to her GMC Yukon Hybrid.

The GMC Yukon Hybrid’s stock wheels help to be more fuel efficient by being low mass and aero-efficient. Though Hilton may be concerned for the environment, looking flashy is her primary concern and they do look nice! Maybe next time our favorite celeb will go for Asanti’s $1,000,000 rims that have over 12,000 diamonds and 800 sapphires.

Sure pays to be an heiress.




Being Safe Or Acting Crazed?

Celebrity Tom Cruise has become so concerned for the safety of his wife, hottie Katie Holmes, and his three children that he has added bombproof features to all of his vehicles. His vehicles have also been fitted for bulletproof windows. Each one of his drivers have been trained in self defense. Cruise was able to miss out on the training because of his role in Mission Impossible which left him undefeatable.

It appears as though someone has forgot to mention to Cruise that he is only an actor what happens in his action movies does not occur in real life. As long as our A-list celebrities are as protected as our military, the brains behind our nation will be kept safe.




Singer Turned Scientist

July 9th, 2008

Neil Young, famous for his Vietnam War Era musical protests, is using his creativity for something else these days. Joining up with Johnathan Goodwin,  Young strives to convert his 1959 Lincoln Continental convertible to be solely battery operated. Johnathan Goodwin is a nationally known mechanic who is currently researching ways to improve horsepower while being fuel efficient. The end goal is a vehicle that can be a model for battery operated vehicles in the future. Together, they want to create a vehicle that is able to achieve 100 miles to the gallon.

Goodwin has been referred to as a “Motorhead Messiah.”  He is known for his mechanic work for people such as Arnold Schwarzenegger and has been featured in the hit MTV show “Pimp my Ride.” Young has spent about $120,000 so far on this project and doesn’t appear to be slowing down anytime soon. The car is running beautifully but has a few faults with controlling the amounts of acceleration. The last 12 mile test drive almost led to a rear-end accident on the entrance ramp of a nearby freeway. However, a celebrity car crash would not be entertaining news to readers and would not be worth the time to report. These things have stopped coming as a shock.

I do have great respect for Young’s ambition and hope he succeeds in this venture.




Hilton’s Hot Car Wash

July 5th, 2008

Carl’s Jr. is all about appealing to their demographic. Carl’s Jr. Spicy Six Dollar Burger advertisement with Paris Hilton washing a gorgeous vehicle. Nothing says Spicy Hot like Paris Hilton soaping herself up to wash a beautiful Bentley. Unfortunately, she’s does not come with Carl’s six dollar price nor does she drink the Koolaid at Carl’s Jr.

I’m proud of Hilton. Seems she’s doing more than spending her daddy’s money. This just may be the first honest work she’s had to put some effort into. Aside from her “heiress” books in which she reveals the fancy life of traveling the world and going to the best parties.




Out Of Rehab And On The Road

July 1st, 2008

Fighting against HIV/AIDS, many celebrities have signed a gorgeous Mercedes Benz C350 that will be soon up for auction. The car is being donated to Nelson Mandela’s 46664 campaign and the auction will take place during Nelson Mandela’s 90th birthday party celebration in Hyde Park of London.

In great support of this cause, Amy Winehouse has decided to add her own signature. Though it may not up the value of the car, her fans are proud of her great strides in the past few months. Hopefully at the upcoming auction, Amy Winehouse keeps her hands to herself and says plenty of nice things about other artists. Just as she behaved at the the Glastonbury Festival. I would hate to see another man assaulted by a 90 pound woman.